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There comes a time in the life of every gardener when:

Your clothes are too dirty to put directly into the washing machine. There are a couple of choices. You can get into the shower with your clothes on and remove them slowly as the soil goes back to where it should be or you can remove them in the tub (I should be so lucky) fill the tub with water, and stomp them like grapes.

You are so dirty that you have to run the hose over yourself (and your clothes) until your spouse will allow you in the house. Go directly to the bathroom, do not pass “Go,” and do not collect any more dirt.

You realize that your spouse was right when he/she called you in. You ache all over, you need aspirin (maybe codeine would be better), a hot bath, and a massage. Maybe a heating pad would help. Or some ice packs.

You begin to listen to your dog when he whines that something is dangerous. Dogs do have a special way of knowing. Mine barks at me.

You realize you really do have enough flowers (suggested by Metric Man who should know better). Okay, gardeners never believe this, it is usually just a momentary response when your significant other suggests, “Honey, don’t you have enough flowers?” The truth is you never really have enough flowers no matter what your spouse says. There is always room for something new. Really. I have 1,200 orchids so I should know.

Despite all your good intentions, bug spray and sunscreen,  you come home covered with itchy bites and red as a beet. Maybe you should have checked the labels that said, “Renew every 4 hours.”